Peanut Butter Puzzle

Ok, where did the chunky peanut butter go? All I want is regular chunky, not super chunk, extra chunky, extreme chunk or creamy. I spent about five minutes looking through all the brands to find that there is no middle ground when it comes to the extent of the chunkiness of the good old pb anymore. Well, at least not at WallyWorld. So I will just have to settle with my roasted honey nut creamy for a while.

It's Sharing Time

Well I got called to be a Primary teacher this morning. That was kind of a shock. I think it will be fun but it's definitely a little different than Elder's quorum. I can't believe how much stuff these kids know about the Gospel and scriptures. What happened to all the songs they used to have when I was a kid though? I don't know any of the songs they sang today. Oh well, so begins another adventure.

Movie Review

I just got back from seeing Cars and aside from the woman in front of me alternating between breastfeeding and trying to stop her newborn from crying it was great. A lot of the reviews I read about this movie said it was ok but that was about it. I totally disagree, it is a really good movie. I don't know what else the critics are expecting maybe they needed to throw in a couple of F-bombs and some revealing car bras, who knows. But I really liked it. The animation is amazing the only things that look unreal anymore are things that Pixar wants to look animated.

In honor of the breastfeeding I thought I would throw up some pictures of Julie's favorite store which is located right here in Salt Lake.


I didn't have the pleasure of going in but I did stop at the Salt Lake Running Company, I swear.

Makes Me Laugh

Can anyone guess why I thought this was kind of funny?

Its That Time of Year

They're Baack. July 27th at Usana again. It's a Thursday, I really want to go but I need to get work off. If anyone wants to go let me know so we can get tickets together. Maybe we can talk Ryan into finally going.

A New Addition

My Dad talked my Mom into letting him bring home a neglected cat for Father's Day. I think its pretty funny. It's a weird thing, a large kitten actually with flat ears and a mean gaze. I wanted to call it Killer but my Dad named it Mellow. I still call it Killer though, I mean just look at his face. He is quite possibly the laziest cat in the world though.


Anyways.. I've been a little time depraved lately so hopefully I will be able to get caught up on the blog now. I have been getting kind of frustrated with blogger lately though. Is anyone else having lots of problems uploading pictures?

The Dang Boy Scouts Were Right

Be Prepared. Probably a good idea, I was just too lazy to listen to that advice though. I went on a little bike ride up Butterfield canyon this morning. It was a nice ride, sunny, not too hot. I saw a couple of deer and some lovely road kill. After about a three mile hill climb I decided I should probably turn around and head back down to my truck. I was cruising along on my new super skinny, slick road tires at about 35 miles an hour when I noticed that all the air was rushing out of my rear tire. Yay. Of course I just bought a patch kit, and I have a tire pump sitting in my garage and I thought this morning I should probably take this stuff with me. But honestly, who gets a flat tire riding on a perfectly good paved road with brand new tires and tubes? Me. And of course I decided this might be a good opportunity to ride topless to work on eliminating some whiteness. So I got to walk about 2 miles down the canyon with the sun burning my tender skin, in biking shoes, which was about half as uncomfortable as walking downhill in ski boots. Great stuff. So I think when I go next week I will Be Prepared.

Gay Logic Doesn't Make Sense

Note: I changed the title of this blog, my opinion might make people feel uncomfortable but I believe what I believe and that is my right as much as it is anyone else's. Why I felt like writing about this, I don't know. However, it is something I feel strongly about and so my words might hurt some people's feeling or make them mad at me but maybe it's something that they should hear.

Well, It’s true.

Talking about our homosexual friend Skyler has stirred up my gay opinions again. Come on. If you really are gay or lesbian; how smart is that, you will never produce offspring without the help of the opposite sex, so there. If everyone was gay we wouldn’t even need to wait for one of the "imminent" natural disasters to do in civilization, we’d just need to wait a hundred years. That sounds pretty natural to me, yeah right. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t support any violence or hatred against homosexuals. I just totally disagree with any and all logic trying to support their lifestyle as being normal or moral. Like I said, I actually have a friend who is gay. I will admit that I am a little uncomfortable with him being gay and I do make a lot of inappropriate jokes at his expense and that's not very good of me. But that doesn't mean that I don't respect his rights as a human being and his right to make that choice. But I do remember some place called Sodom and Gomorrah; whatever happened to them? Where do you think the term sodomy came from. Ok, I think I’m done now.

I'm going to Tri

Well it's official my first triathlon will be the Cache Valley Classic on August 5th. So everyone who is dying to see my pasty white goodness peeling off a wetsuit should come watch me drown. I'm only doing the sprint which is 0.75K swim/20K bike/5K mile run(for those of you who don't get metrics like me, it's about .5 mi. swim/ 12 mi. bike/ 3.1 mi. run). It will still be a challenge I'm sure. I believe it starts at 8am at the Hyrum reservoir. Wish me luck.

Update: I forgot to mention that I am registered in the "Clydesdale" class because I weigh over two hundred pounds. Isn't that comforting. Me, wetsuit, speedo, running, climbing on a bike... pasty white goodness.

Follicle Folly

So I had my first calamity since starting this blog last week. It’s kind of embarrassing but still funny so here it goes. I have been training for a triathlon for the last two months which entails a lot of swimming. I began to tire of toweling off the curly tresses on my chest and decided that a smooth chest was something I would like to try. So I started shaving my chest with some clippers and a razor. My chest hair grows unreasonably fast and I was wondering if there was a better way to keep my chest as smooth as a baby’s behind. Enter Nair. I remembered a strange concoction that is supposed to make you hair virtually melt away with no pain no shaving. So I was sheepishly wandering through Wally World looking at the shaving stuff and was surprised to find that they have Nair for men. I grabbed a bottle with a handy “roller applicator” and sped for the self checkout.

I found the instructions on the bottle to be somewhat similar to those on a speeding ticket which should have been warning enough. Apply, wait at least 4 minutes but no longer than 10. So I lathered up with the smelly goop and started counting. So at about one minute I started to feel a pretty intense burning sensation around my nipolas. I thought that maybe this was normal because you’re not supposed to get the stuff near “sensitive areas”. Yes… I think burning pain is normal; I have no idea why I didn’t take the crap off as soon as I could. I stuck it out for another minute and could take the pain no longer. You remember that incident I had with pepper spray a while back? Well this was about 10 times more painful. So by now I am hopping around the bathroom and trying to wipe off my chest as quick as I can and when I finally get it all off the blood begins to flow. I was bleeding out of every pore on my chest, it was great.

So the next few days were fun going to work sweating and bleeding and itching under a bullet-proof vest for 12 hour shifts, it was great. Showering also seemed to bring back the blood and agony in all its glory.

So the moral of the story is: I am an idiot and Nair is bad mmkay.

Maintenance Smaitenance

Well I was actually going to do a couple more posts and of course when I tried to logon while my intellectual powers were at their peak the site was down for maintenance. So we will have to try again. I guess I might as well do a little music and movie review while I'm on here.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
What Can I say? This album is the same as every other Chilli Peppers album, it rocks. I really really like all the songs on this album. Very impressed, plus it's a double cd, double the pleasure double the fun.

X-Men III
Eh... it's ok. Another comic book movie that doesn't really make me feel much emotion for the characters. Cool special effects. I think I would like these more if they had Gambit and Jubilee in them. Long live the Professor. Can wait for the sequel.

DaVinci Crap or Code whatever
Sucked. Long. Unimpressive. I wanted to laugh during the parts that were supposed to be suspenseful. Follows the book very closely but my imagination did the story much better than Ron Howard. I did enjoy reading the book.

Mission Impossible 37
Or as Steven Colbert calls it "miiiiiii". Another sequel that didn't do much too impress, plus Tom Cruise just looks crazy all the time. Sometimes I see Tom's face and I think "either he just crapped his pants or he just killed somebody and is looking for his next victim". No really spectacular special effects in my opinion, there was one building swinging scene that got my fear of heights going a little but that's about all the emotion I felt during this movie.

I watched the 80's version of The Secret Garden on Memorial Day weekend and I can honestly say I enjoyed it more than any of the movies I have seen in the theater lately. I am looking forward to Over the Hedge and Cars though. So those will be coming up soon hopefully.

What have I done.

hello world. Well here I am. I have finally decided to give in to the internet. I have wanted to start a blog for sometime but mostly have been too lazy to do it or indecisive, I guess. "Too Lazy", is that an oxymoron? There is so much hassle with creating an online identity. You have to come up with a user name, something clever but not too hard to remember and then a password. The password can be a nightmare and I always forget them but after having some of my credit card information stolen online I am super paranoid about using the same password for everything. Then there is the situation where you have already put in a user name and typed your password twice only to be told that your user name is already taken and then you have to type in your super secure password consiting of a combination of a hundred or so numbers, symbols and letters twice again. Yes , it just happened to me. Then you have to pick out a clever name that everyone else will see too; becuase you do want to be funny and cool right? Well here's my attempt to share some of my disorder, calamities and stupid adventures with the rest of the cyber greek community. Enjoy.